I've only had balance for the last two months. And in that time I haven't lost control.
But... admittedly there was Hell. A place I could go to for the darkness.
Temptation still exists and... I'm not certain what will happen now that I don't have Hell to fall back on. I would like to say I'll keep control. That's my goal. But this is all still new.
What does Hell give you that you need? And do not say people to torture or something like that. Don't make me want to dislike you. Because right now, I'm Swizterland. Or I'm trying to be, because we have one thing in common. Neither of us wants to hurt him.
How did Nate and Ana get you control? You have to have some idea what it was they did, right?
I don't torture people for fun. But Hell is also not full of innocent souls.
A spell. But primarily Anna's empathy.
When Ineroth and I first were brought together it was overwhelming and disorienting for me. Ineroth took advantage of that confusion to suppress my desires and exert his will.
Now Ineroth and I are more... mixed. It's easier for me to be me when I'm not feeling subsumed by him.
This is all an approximation for what's going on in my head in the simplest terms I can think of.
No I don't torture. I consume souls. And I'm not certain what I could do here.... but I do think I have to find something.
When Ineroth learned how to begin to consume souls before they'd died and passed into Hell, they came with more than he expected.... Human things. He tried to section off that piece of himself that was developing, which is what became me. Thorn.
Then when Nate helped Thorn escape the dimension maze Ineroth created, we were rejoined.
Is it the silence and solitude? Darkness? If you say lakes of fire and it happens here? I'm so blaming you.
So you're the leftover humanity that he really didn't want. Huh. That kind of sucks for you to know and be aware of. Though let me tell you, that's the best parts.
Oh I can be a glutton about other things. I love human food. I eat.... a lot. But I was made to rule a realm of Hell and the souls within. Nothing is as satisfying as the essence and power of another...
Sorry. That's dark.
As for not being a part of him... it's more like when you eat food. It wasn't originally part of you, but your body processes it into needed energy. Ineroth changed his diet and the processing developed him humanity. It is because of the humanity of others that it happened, but I'm all him all the same.
No, I believe you. I'm just trying to be honest so we know what we're working with.
Not that I've found. Yet. I wouldn't give up hope, though.
I don't know the answer to that last question. But I will say Ineroth is a demon prince of gluttony that has existed since the start of time. I don't believe he can be killed. And if we could be separated... what would I be unleashing? Would I then be responsible for all the devastation he causes afterwards that I could have stopped? Unless I could guarantee Ineroth's death, I don't think it wise I leave him untethered.
Good. I'm glad we're on the same page with that. I haven't talked to anyone but Nate about this, and honestly? I didn't tell him I was going to talk to you today either. I wanted a chance for us to talk.
He's a huge part of me though and someone I love and I want to do what I can for him. Which means we're going to work this out. Failure is not an option.
There's a lot of energies here to work from. It's worth trying.
I can understand that. I did talk to him about bindings. For him. Just to give you as much as we can to be who you want to be and have been with Nate.
Ah. That explains it, as I would have expected him to tell you to avoid me.
But we can agree on that. Failure is not an option. I will certainly explore other kinds of energies. You're right, there's more variety to choose from here.
I'm not opposed to the option of binding, but I'd just want to be careful of it. I don't want others getting hurt trying to solve my problems, either. I don't have access to Hell here. I can't sequester myself to protect others as easily.
Honestly? I'm not sure he would. Least I hope he wouldn't. He isn't one to give up on you and I think if we're going to help you, we all need to be here for you.
How is it you feed from people? Which if I'm asking too much for a stranger, say so. I am a problem solver, so if I can find a way, I will.
That's why we'll be here for you. I don't think this is something that can be done alone and while I don't have the kind of powers that may be needed, I'm here for you. Even if it means getting hurt.
Not that I really want to die here but two years is a good run.
I just wasn't certain he believed I wasn't Ineroth... Thought he might want others away on pure chance I was lying.
As for feeding, physical touch. Any sort of physical touch. It's mostly willful, but admittedly I've noticed my control strains more in sexual activity. A bit distracted...
Let's avoid getting hurt. Either of us, but particularly the one of us who's an innocent in this.
Maybe you are. Maybe you aren't. We aren't going to find out by pushing you away. And more than that, we're not going to help you stay Thorn by pushing you away.
Which could be a problem here, yeah. I think a big thing for you will be trying to avoid missing quota. If they drug you to force you to make it, what happens then? Not good.
I am all for avoiding it, but in the end? It's about doing what we need to for everyone. I really believe we're not going to make it through this place alone.
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no subject
But... admittedly there was Hell. A place I could go to for the darkness.
Temptation still exists and... I'm not certain what will happen now that I don't have Hell to fall back on. I would like to say I'll keep control. That's my goal. But this is all still new.
no subject
What does Hell give you that you need? And do not say people to torture or something like that.
Don't make me want to dislike you. Because right now, I'm Swizterland.
Or I'm trying to be, because we have one thing in common. Neither of us wants to hurt him.
How did Nate and Ana get you control? You have to have some idea what it was they did, right?
no subject
A spell. But primarily Anna's empathy.
When Ineroth and I first were brought together it was overwhelming and disorienting for me. Ineroth took advantage of that confusion to suppress my desires and exert his will.
Now Ineroth and I are more... mixed. It's easier for me to be me when I'm not feeling subsumed by him.
This is all an approximation for what's going on in my head in the simplest terms I can think of.
no subject
Something that we can find for you here to help.
How did you become separated to begin with?
no subject
When Ineroth learned how to begin to consume souls before they'd died and passed into Hell, they came with more than he expected.... Human things. He tried to section off that piece of himself that was developing, which is what became me. Thorn.
Then when Nate helped Thorn escape the dimension maze Ineroth created, we were rejoined.
no subject
If you say lakes of fire and it happens here? I'm so blaming you.
So you're the leftover humanity that he really didn't want. Huh.
That kind of sucks for you to know and be aware of.
Though let me tell you, that's the best parts.
no subject
Oh I'm not insulted by him. I only wish he wasn't me as well.
no subject
If the humanity comes from others, it wasn't part of him to begin with, then is there not a way to do it permanently?
no subject
Sorry. That's dark.
As for not being a part of him... it's more like when you eat food. It wasn't originally part of you, but your body processes it into needed energy. Ineroth changed his diet and the processing developed him humanity. It is because of the humanity of others that it happened, but I'm all him all the same.
no subject
Whether you believe it or not, I really am.
So the only thing that fulfills you is their soul? There's not other energy that you could feed from?
And you, Thorn, could not survive without him? You're certain?
no subject
Not that I've found. Yet. I wouldn't give up hope, though.
I don't know the answer to that last question. But I will say Ineroth is a demon prince of gluttony that has existed since the start of time. I don't believe he can be killed. And if we could be separated... what would I be unleashing? Would I then be responsible for all the devastation he causes afterwards that I could have stopped? Unless I could guarantee Ineroth's death, I don't think it wise I leave him untethered.
no subject
I wanted a chance for us to talk.
He's a huge part of me though and someone I love and I want to do what I can for him.
Which means we're going to work this out. Failure is not an option.
There's a lot of energies here to work from. It's worth trying.
I can understand that.
I did talk to him about bindings.
For him. Just to give you as much as we can to be who you want to be and have been with Nate.
no subject
But we can agree on that. Failure is not an option. I will certainly explore other kinds of energies. You're right, there's more variety to choose from here.
I'm not opposed to the option of binding, but I'd just want to be careful of it. I
don't want others getting hurt trying to solve my problems, either. I don't have access to Hell here. I can't sequester myself to protect others as easily.
no subject
He isn't one to give up on you and I think if we're going to help you, we all need to be here for you.
How is it you feed from people? Which if I'm asking too much for a stranger, say so.
I am a problem solver, so if I can find a way, I will.
That's why we'll be here for you.
I don't think this is something that can be done alone and while I don't have the kind of powers that may be needed, I'm here for you. Even if it means getting hurt.
Not that I really want to die here but two years is a good run.
... that's mostly a bad joke.
no subject
As for feeding, physical touch. Any sort of physical touch. It's mostly willful, but admittedly I've noticed my control strains more in sexual activity. A bit distracted...
Let's avoid getting hurt. Either of us, but particularly the one of us who's an innocent in this.
no subject
And more than that, we're not going to help you stay Thorn by pushing you away.
Which could be a problem here, yeah.
I think a big thing for you will be trying to avoid missing quota. If they drug you to force you to make it, what happens then? Not good.
I am all for avoiding it, but in the end? It's about doing what we need to for everyone.
I really believe we're not going to make it through this place alone.